A Valentine to my son
Dear Ben,
It is hard for me to imagine my life 4 years ago. It was before I knew you, before I knew of you, before you taught me life lessons that no one else could teach. What I would tell you if I knew what to say…
You have been given a gift of youth to write your history at your will. This is a huge undertaking as you don’t realize at the time that what you do and what you say will become your legacy, your work, your reputation, your integrity, your love and your hope. It’s probably best that you don’t realize it, that you just live it, with full body, life, soul and passion. That you live without fear, judgment and pride for as long as you are able. That will come soon enough to veil you from your truth.
As for me, I owe my gratitude to you for lifting my veil. My heart has learned to sing again through your joy. My mouth has learned to speak kindness again through your words. My actions have learned to put down my scissors and run freely through the play yard with friends that are perfect in their differences. My love has learned the word unconditional involves much more work than any effort my conditions could require. You in your innocence and natural sense of right and wrong are the teacher to this road-tired woman that is ready for a purer life. Where positionin’ and politicin’ is really only an issue when it comes to bath time and chocolate chip cookies…here work conditions include negotiated nap times and recess. You have given me a new perspective of benefit demands. 
I’m not sure I’ll be able to ever hold you back to these simple truths that your very existence has brought me back to through a full, round smiley-faced circle drawn with a yellow Crayola crayon. It may be you have to travel down the path of adulthood and you never return. But if you do, know that I will be here waiting. And when you say, “but mom” know that hidden in my “but Ben” is a “but I love you…” and my slight smile only masks the lessons that you yourself have re-taught me.
~your mom